I’m not Catholic…so confession to someone other my Heavenly Father is not something that I am familiar with.

So… here goes!

My confession!?



Where do I start?

I’m MAD!

There, I said it!

Awwwww…that’s better.

You see “I” {key word”} had a plan for my life, and it looked a little something like this.

Get Married. CHECK

Have a Baby {took a little longer, and a whole different road than I thought ...} but.. CHECK

Have another Baby. CHECK

Have another Baby. CHECK

Have another Baby….. SCREEEEEEECH ….SLAM…BAM…this is where we hit the wall!

Ya see, I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis and ready for this one {{{{{ DRUM ROLL}}}} LUPUS! BAM! Talk about a sucker punch to the gut!

I’m sure it sounds funny but, really I’m doing okay with the diagnoses part. I know that I know that I know that has God’s signature is all over my life. But, really no more babies {please refrain from telling me that “I can have your children anytime I want” or” I have three wonderful gift and I should be grateful” or the best one so far..” I didn’t think you needed anymore children anyway” WHAT! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!

This is my mourning, grieving, heart-searching time.

Wow. Open confession is liberating!
Who knows; maybe God will make a way for another baby "blessing" in our home... In the mean time I am learning to be still, listen and lean!